Painting by Bret Moulton    (work in progress)

  
 

This is the image I receive via email from artist Bret Moulton.  My correspondence and critique comments that were sent to him are posted below, with his permission.  (Bret's letter to me and his subsequent correspondence regarding this work are not posted here.  This is the initial response from me and covers the major areas of my critique.)

Bret: - The image came through just fine. My first reaction was "whoa!" Nice painting! I really like your style and what you did with this piece. I also thought it would be tough to critique, because it does look so good. It is much easier when there are some major problems.

  
     
 

 I want to make several comments here about my critique. I always tell other artists, my thoughts are just that - mine. The observations are merely my opinion and you must decide whether any, all, or none of them hold any validity for you. Anyone can tear anyone else’s painting apart. I know I can surely tear into mine, as none of them are ever perfect! There is always something that could be improved. I think where we stop on a particular painting is when it reaches our own level of satisfaction. That is the point where we think it meets our standards and we feel that we can live with and if necessary, defend the painting. There is one other point that I would like to make. The better you are, the pickier I become! Let’s face it, if someone is having trouble with the basics, those basics should be corrected before worrying about the details. I’m going to get picky now!

With that in mind, let’s go fishing! Right away, I decided I did not to read your letter at all, until I have made all my changes and comments. As I write this, I still have not checked your letter.

I like how the water values change from top to bottom, lighter to darker. However, I think they could change even more. First I wanted to see them lighter overall, that entire area (see the image above). 

  
     
 

Then I wanted to see a greater degree of contrast between the top and the bottom. To do that, I lightened the top section (see image at left). I think this helps the water lay back, appear flatter, and thrust the fish and fisherman into the forefront of the picture. This helps create a feeling of space between the main subjects and the water, increasing the feeling of depth in the painting. The effect even adds a slight feeling of luminosity to the water, a little of that transparent quality. The texture of the water/waves seemed to follow the contour of the fisherman’s shoulders too much and seems a little harsh. I softened those areas before I lightened that section. Also, the shape of the waves around the fish’s head also seems to follow the head shape a bit too much. I changed a few of them around the level of the fish’s eye and made them more horizontal.

  
     
 

It seems like a fishing rod would be a nice element to add to the painting. I know that holding a rod and reel would be difficult while holding the fish, but I tried to tuck it under one arm and let the tip rest in the elbow on the other side. It could be distracting, so I kept it tucked behind the arm and vest, so the perfect round shape of the reel would be broken and not so stark.

Some other minor things that occurred to me to adjust or play with:

I made the neck of the fisherman a little more intense with color. The idea was to pump some "life" into that section. I wanted to separate the feeling of live flesh from the clothing.

I thought some reflected light under the hands and around the sleeves under the fish would be appropriate. These would help to define the forms and create a feeling of more depth under the trout and back to the fisherman’s body.

Now on to the trout itself. Many times I notice a "sheen" on the upper surface of a wet fish, such as the one you show fresh out of the water. I like to play up on that as I think it adds a dimension of form to the fish. By that, I mean it makes him look more round and three-dimensional. I added this sheen across the upper surface of the fish and also on the tail section where it appears to bend (and gets flatter in overall form.) I think it would pick up some more reflected light in this position and perhaps this can help accent the bend in the tail area. Usually when we look at wildlife, the head is a major draw for us visually. So the head and eyes are important. I spent some time adding subtle highlights around the fish’s head, especially around the eye socket and mouth. I also added a highlight to the eye itself to give it more spark. I look at a fish as a flexible oval form, slimy and wet. It will catch reflected light and you want to use this to your advantage. Keep in mind the direction of the light source and use light and shadow to emphasize the forms. The fish is the primary subject of this painting, so it is imperative that it is also the best part of the painting. Along with my photo reference, I use real and mounted fish to refer to for details. I like to have them hung on fish line and then light them with an inexpensive hooded clamp light. That gives me a strong primary source of light and I can see how the light hits the fish anatomy. I always think about capturing the overall form in terms of light and dark first. After that is working well, I can concentrate on the details to emphasize features. This use of lighting and detail can also help you direct the viewer’s eye where you want it to go.

  
     
 

The final thing I question is the composition. Would it look better to have a longer picture and less space from the top of the trout to the top of the painting edge? I cropped the painting (above) and think that I like it better, but it really is not a major change.  I am sending these comments as a document with the images side by side for comparison. Keep in mind that these changes are a little bold and abrupt in their handling. I used Adobe Photoshop and did not try to refine them. The most important thing was to get the changes in place and see the overall effect. Let me know what you think and if you have any further comments or questions. (I will now read your letter and see what you have to say about this!)

I just read you letter and see that you and I agree on some of the major points. I do not think I would want to see "structure" in the background/water, as I think it could be distracting. If you did use it, the values and contrast should be minimized so that they recede behind the main objects - the fish and fisherman. They might work well if painted that way.

I hope this is helpful to you and what you were looking for. If not, get back to me and let me know if you wanted something further, or more detailed.

  
     
 

Here are the first few lines from Bret in response to my critique: 

"Rod, - My first reaction after reading your critique is wow, you are good.  I really like the changes and comments you have made.  I think this critique will be more helpful than I expected.  When I finished this piece I was pretty happy with the results, other than the problems I noted.  This is probably one of my most successful fish paintings thus far, but I could see it still lacked a little something to give it that extra punch to bring it off the page.  I think it may be that after you stare at something for so long you need a fresh perspective, but I couldn't quite see what changes should be made, other than some rather large obvious changes. You have pointed out some of the subtle changes it needs to really make it stand out." 

  
     
 

Brett sent me this image of his finished painting.  Compare this image to the one at the top of this page.  Look closely and you can see that he put a lot more work into this piece and made some very nice adjustments. I think it's a "keeper!"  (the color variation is due to using two separate images on this page.)

  
     
  My Thanks to artist Bret Moulton for allowing me to use his work and critique for this On-line Critique service.  You can contact him via email at the following address: BMOULTON@nuskin.com    
     
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